(Revised) Ramblings…more ramblings, and more…
April 19, 2006 by igme
I’ll try to write without proofreading…It starts now after I was thinking about the title of this entry…
What else is new? The movies I watched? I’m going backwards in time, meaning, I’m watching films from way back, film classics. "Sunset Boulevard" is great, a 1950 film about the parody of Hollywood system. Get this, a secluded aging Hollywood actress in love with a struggling writer, the former fantasizes about her "return" to the silver screen, the latter uses her money to sustain his living, and an unrequited love as it’s motivation. Pretty simple plot, but the acting of Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond is so complex as Hollywood is, that I for one find it so creepily (no, adamantly) appealing, pitiful, and tragic as well. An unforgettable scene was the last scene where Norma walks down the carpeted stairs and her imagined return as a "princess" is heartbreaking. The acting of the lead comes close as a camp classic, bordering on the hysterics.
Before SUnset Boulevard, I was able to see half of "Green Mile." I was so into it, when the DVD hang half-way through! Pakingshet! I hate this happening to me. Well, cant complain if it’s only…(paging VRB) pirated! I wasted, waited for three hours, to no avail. Pakingshet (oops, it’s so unlike me said a good friend) There have been a few times it has happened to me this way, like "Godfather 1", and nevermind, I’m only sulking…
After the Green Mile, which was before Sunset, was the film "North Country." The film wasnt bad. Charlize Theron did a subdued performance as a young mother employed as a miner under a male-dominated, chauvinistic, gender-oppressed company in Minnesota. I’m beginning to like Charlize, she’s for me in a younger class of Julia Roberts, America’s Sweetheart, er, Hollywood’s sweetheart, er, SOuth Africa’s Sweetheart (she traces her roots in South AFrica fyi)…
And another host of films previous to these which I saw…the ‘96 film "The People vs. Larry Flint," 2005 film "Crash", the 1982 film "Gandhi" which was my Easter Sunday celebration for myself. I like to say a thing or two about them but they deserve a much-longer review, if at all. God, I need to watch more great films, the Kubricks, Fellinis, Truffauts, Renoirs, the good stuff.
WHat else is new? There are two forces fighting over what I’m going to write now…There’s one which says I should rationalize why I "only" watch films and tell something more meanigful and make sense, and the other that says I should continue and not care of anything at all. Pack (!!) (too "jologs" daw!!) to anyone who hasnt gone reading up until this line. Hey, I’ve got some nice, good things to say.
Maybe what I’m feeling right now is what my English Lit prof way back in college called it as ennui. For those not in the know, check it up at Websters, or online dictionary (like at www.answers.com which i use). So that you may say you are learning anyhow reading my blog.
The fact is, okay I’m gaining strength to say this, I’m in-between jobs. Yeah, it’s hard to admit that I’m jobless. For how long, don’t ask! I never imagined it’s been that long…If being an independent filmmaker doing his own project in-the-making makes one feel excited and not earn a living is not an equation here. Certainly not in the Philippines, unless your extravagantly rich. You’ve got to earn a living here, make some sacrifices. Compromise for one. I’ve been waiting for a formal offer for a job which I like, and it’s been a two-month hell of waiting. What’s happening for christsake.
I’ve made some excuses not to work for a living. I’ve enjoyed some precious time.
Meanwhile, I’m enjoying moments of good company with friends, watching film classics to my future-career enhancement, enjoying myself (whatver that means, you bad iggy!!), but I feel somehow "stuck"…Whether there’s too much beauty for me, or ennui, or whatever…
I need to buckle down to work, you know, continue to write my script (blame writer’s block!!) which kept me from living the way I wanted to…and look for a job as a certain sacrifice.
Speaking of sacrifice, I’ve been cold turkey from…from nicotine…it’s been 10 pakingshet days. It’s so easy than I ever emagined it to be. Congratulations to me!!
Hi Iggy!
I have also been too often in the Film section of the American Memorial Library here in Berlin. I get to borrow up to 10 DVDs & 30 VHS at one time. I think I am lucky enough, becoz I do not pay anything at all.
If you get the chance to watch international films, take it. After that, you will surely want to watch more international films. this week, I was able to watch a Turkish film with german subtitles, a Japanese, a Greek, a Chinese & a Korean film with English subtitles and not-so-famous british films. All were great films of their own genres. I usually look out for those winners of this-and-that award. If I am luckier, I get to check out some latest hollywood films too.
Even some cartoons can be art films too. I recently watched Graveyard of the Fireflies, an awardwinning japanese anime. Check out the reviews on it.
Once I get to speak better French, Spanish and Italian, I really might be able to watch almost all the DVDs. Coz they usually do not come with English subtitles.
Did I tell you I know someone from the Film Center who was an Archivist there? I met him when I was 17, and he was 30somethin´. He knew a lot about films. He also studied in UP. It´s a pity I do not remember his name anymore. He could help you out without any doubt. I used to enter UP Film Center through the back doors and behind the curtains to the seats, whenever I want to watch something there.
Anyway, good luck on hunting for more rare inspiring art films.